Me, The Next Martha Stewart

Yep, that's right! I'm the next Martha. Heck, I might even give Paula Deen a run for her money! Ok, you can stop laughing now. In case you didn't know, I'm probably the world's worst cook. Good thing I married someone who will eat anything or he might starve to death! =)

Anyway, I LOVE apple butter, and I saw a recipe for making it in a crock pot...so I gave it a try. There were only five ingredients and no crazy words used like "sauté" or "al dente" (which I always thought were some sort of ballet positions.  I couldn't understand why I would have to dance while stirring the onions!)...so I thought I could handle it. It wasn't hard, even for me, but, man, it took 12 HOURS! I thought the recipe said 6 hours. Next time I will make sure to read the directions in their entirety before starting a project...there's always a catch!

Amazingly, it turned out. Tastes pretty good if I do say so myself. Here are some pics to prove that I actually did this all by myself! =) Let me know if you want the recipe because if I can handle it...anyone can!

The cooking begins...

The finished product...doensn't look so pretty, but it tastes SO good!

Oh, I wanted to give you a little insight on my kitchen faux pas. Make sure you're sitting down because you might not believe what you're reading! You might think I was raised in a house with TV dinners and fast food. Nope, completely surrounded by GREAT cooks...I just must have slept through my teenage years because I didn't learn a thing!

Well, it was right after we got married...living on our own in a little apartment...acting like grown-ups...full of new responsibilities. So I decided to make dinner...goulash, one of my favorites. Browned the hamburger (which will lead to my next story), cooked the noodles, added the other ingredients, and thought man, this tastes a little odd...but we ate it anyway. Later, I told my mom about my EXTRAVAGENT meal and how it used up all of my ketchup. She asked me how I made the fabulous goulash, and I told her about adding an entire bottle of ketchup in order to make the sauce! Now I know that tomato sauce in a can exists...it's NOT the same as ketchup! =)

And one time after I had been married for 5+ years, yet another incident occurred. We were having trouble with the kitchen sink draining, and I couldn't figure out why. Drano wouldn't even help! I called over my trusty carpenter (DeWayne), and he took the pipes apart. He showed me what he found and asked me where I put the hamburger grease when I was cooking. "Down the kitchen sink, of course!" Word to the wise...do NOT pour the hot grease down the kitchen sink. It will harden and keep building up...over and over and over! Yep, he found a 3" solid glob of hamburger grease clogging my sink! Boy, my Home Ec teacher would be proud!

Isn't it amazing that we haven't all shriveled up from starvation?!  I have five meals that I cook (which have taken a LONG time to master) and that's it!  It's safer that way! =)