At one point in my life, I did not know if I would ever have children. Not because of the numerous reasons you might think, either. Mostly because of that little known book entitled "What To Expect When You're Expecting." I remember receiving said book as a gift, opening to the first page, and gasping for air due to my level of shock! SERIOUSLY! What sane person would put their body through such torture? It's completely INSANE! Unimaginable, really.
Okay, so I'm a bit of a paranoid freak and tend worry about all of the "what ifs" so this may have been the root of the problem!
I also might mention that I have an incredible and uncontrollable fear of...doctors...and hospitals...and needles...and... I'll stop now since I'm starting to sweat from the anxiety of mentioning those dreaded words. Funny part is that I went to college to be a...ummmm...doctor! Joke was on me! I was convinced that I just needed to expose myself to the world of medicine and my fears would be gone. FOUR years and a bachelor's degree later that problem was still as strong as ever...if not worse! Guessing having a fear of needles and being a physician would be difficult to juggle.
So I walked away from the medical world, but my love is still there. I google every condition known to man and fill myself with countless bits of information that I can absorb from anyone who has medical knowledge. Let me say, however, that the information I've gained through the years has not helped my anxiety. Not one bit. Quite the opposite actually. I pass out with a drop of a hat, but I won't go into that now. Trust me...there are many, many stories I could share about self-induced fainting. I'm kind of a pro.
And I must have a problem with being distracted easily 'cause this is not what I was intending to write so...
Back to my point.
I made it through that horrendous book and managed to calm myself long enough to have children.
Maybe it's the road we walked. Problems with carrying a pregnancy to term...losing one baby after another for unknown reasons.
It's not the road I imagined, but it has made me more appreciative of what I have. Children are a blessing. Period. They may color your couch from top to bottom with a bright green marker, but it doesn't matter. They may dump every inch of water out of the bath tub and onto the floor, but it doesn't matter. They may deposit an ice cube in the middle of the table onto their brand new school pictures instead of putting the ice in the sink, but it doesn't matter. They may rearrange ALL of your furniture and utilize every blanket that you own in order to create the world's best "spooky house" in the middle of your living room, but it DOES matter!
It is part of being a child.
The innocence of youth.
The ability to find beauty in everything.
The imagination of a child is monumental. Breathtaking, really.
So when my children make comments that are purely innocent, I smile. I laugh. I learn.
I relish in the moment and want to share it with everyone I know.
On our way home, I stopped to pick up pizza for our Friday night dinner. Logan was THRILLED about eating pizza and decided he couldn't wait to get home before sinking his teeth into the yummy "p-zza". So he was given a slice. He, then, asked for a breadstick. He's a boy and
As I handed him the breadstick, I said "Logan, here's your breadstick."
He replied, "Hey!"
I said, "Hey, what?!" expecting him to say I didn't give him the right breadstick.
It was apparent that he was completely suprised by something, but I didn't know what. Maybe he saw a dinosaur or a tractor or...a house.
His response was a little unexpected.
With a small shrill in his voice, he declared "Hey, Mommy. You know me NAME! YOU KNOW ME NAME!"
I just smiled and, then, laughed from joy! I love these kids! They make my heart melt!
*Note: Maybe he's starting to realize that is took us almost 24 hours after birth to name him. Surely, he can't remember that, right?